Faith-Part 14

"FAITH OF THE HEART"
An "Enterprise" story

By Alison M. DOBELL

RATING: NC-17.
ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.
FEEDBACK: Welcomed
EMAIL: AlisonMDobell@aol.com
WEBSITE: http://www.carlajane.50megs.com/Ali00.html

SUMMARY": "When members of the crew go suddenly missing, Captain Archer finds the only witness is unable to tell them anything. Lt Reed takes it upon himself to turn detective."
DISCLAIMERS in Part One

Part 14

* * * * *

He had spent so long praying that Trip would wake and now here he was wishing he were still unconscious. Was anything more complex that the minefield that passed for human relationships? The Captain looked at his erstwhile friend. Happy to see the Commander up and about again but disturbed by the way in which the Sub-Commander hardly ever strayed from his side. It was bizarre as if he were watching one person not two. That the two had become even closer than before was not in doubt though before this incident he would not have believed it possible. He had ordered them to cool things down especially around their Vulcan friends. Now the incident on Rastak had thrown the relationship into stark relief. Not in front of the Vulcans but back on board Enterprise. Was he the only one having difficulty with the extraordinary depth of their relationship? He turned his head to look at T'Pol. Her eyes shifted from Trip to fasten on him with silent regard. It made him feel uneasy as if she were placing him under the microscope and would slowly reveal every feeling layer by layer. He did not want that to happen. Now least of all.

"Sub-Commander T'Pol?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"I would like to speak to the Commander alone."

He could not divine the look in her eyes. She inclined her head slightly, turned and left. Trip did not say anything. Showed no surprise. He knew the Captain had a lot of things on his mind. Probably wanted to question him more closely about the Vulcans on Rastak. He could see how awkward that might be in front of T'Pol. Not that he could tell him a whole lot but he would do his best. When the Captain did speak his words surprised the Commander.

"I haven't had a chance to speak to you alone, Trip."

Commander Tucker raised an eyebrow. It mimicked T'Pol so clearly that it annoyed the Captain. He struggled to hide his irritation but Trip knew him too well. "What's up, Cap'n?"

The Captain trapped a sigh and indicated for his friend to sit down. Trip got the feeling it was more to calm himself down than a polite gesture to put a friend at ease. "Are we all right, Trip?"

*Okay. So you want to talk buddy-talk. I can do that* "Sure, solid as a rock. Why?"

Captain Archer pulled up a chair and sat facing the Commander. "We've been friends a long time, Trip..."

*Uh oh, here it comes*

"I just can't help feeling as if we're no longer connecting."

*Connecting? What the hell did that mean?* "I'm not sure I understand ya, Jon."

The Captain leaned in closer, his eyes boring into him. "What happened down there, Trip?"

"I told ya before; we were put in separate rooms. That bastard Sha'kith was ripping T'Pol's mind apart, seemed to be fixatin' on our relationship for some reason. He hurt her, Jon. If T'Pol hadn't sorted him out, I would'a ripped him apart myself."

He nodded at the anger boiling just beneath the Chief Engineer's words. "I know Trip, you and me both."

*You and me both? What was this?* "So what is really on your mind?"

For a moment the Captain sucked in a quick breath, then tried to let it out casually. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Jon. This isn't about T'Pol and you know it. What did I do to piss you off?"

He looked genuinely shocked. "You didn't piss me off, Trip."

"Then come on, what gives? Why are you walking on hot coals every time ya look at me?"

Captain Archer resisted the urge to close his eyes and go *oh shit*. "I'm just worried about you. Us."

"Us?"

"Our friendship. I used to know what you were thinking without even having to give it a moment's thought. Now I'm not sure I recognise you half the time."

"What in hell is that supposed to mean?"

He sighed. Had no polite way to put it. "You've changed, Trip."

"No, I haven't."

"Yes, you have. You're getting a little more Vulcan every day."

Trip jumped to his feet, his face reddening with anger. "This *is* about T'Pol isn't it? You're jealous."

"What?"

"Ya heard me! Ever since we got back I been getting these looks from you and don't think I haven't noticed that look you been givin' T'Pol either. You got somethin' to say Jon just come right out and say it but don't pretend this is anything to do with how I feel."

The Captain stood up. "Forget I said anything."

His friend shook his head. "No. You brought it up, let's talk about it. Clear the air."

"You're my best friend, Trip, you know that. I don't want to do or say anything to jeopardise that."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want us to be like we were."

Trip frowned, genuinely confused. "What're you talkin' about?"

"We used to be close, Trip. I miss that." Said the Captain softly.

"We're still close, Jon."

The Captain shook his head slowly, his voice soft to hide the ache in it. "No, we're not. Not any more."

For a moment silence stretched like a chasm between them. "Is that what ya think?" Asked Trip quietly.

He nodded, linking his hands and looking down at them to avoid looking at his friend. "Yes."

"Jon, look at me."

The Captain raised his head.

"I'm the same guy I've always been and ya know I'll be there when ya need me. Through hellfire and damnation. The fact that I love T'Pol makes no difference to that. You're my best friend and nothin's gonna change that."

"When I thought you were dead.... it was almost more than I could bear."

The Commander was alarmed to see the Captain blink back the threat of tears.

"After losing dad..." He broke off, unable to go on.

Trip's irritation vanished. He understood what this was about now. "You're not gonna lose me, Jon." He said gently. "But ya can't expect me to stand still either. One day you'll find someone special and when that day comes you'll look back on this moment and laugh."

He stared at Trip for a moment, not daring to tell him that it was a moment that would never come. Sure. He had been in love before. Many times. Even contemplated marriage and kids but something always held him back. The kind of closeness he wanted he had not been able to find. He wanted, needed, and craved single minded devotion. More friend than lover. Was it so unreasonable to want an anchor in his life? Some part of the world that would remain unchanging beneath his feet? He realised that Trip had been his anchor for so long he had assumed it would always be like that. Now he had to face the fact that Trip had moved on and he hadn't. What did that say about him? Trip was not a crutch but that was the role he superimposed on their friendship. Now he realised with painful clarity that his friend knew that. Accepted it because it was what he needed from him. Just as the gentle look in his eyes was quietly affirming that clinging on to that was not healthy for him any longer. It was time he, Jonathan Archer, moved on as well. Only because he was his friend, Trip could not tell him that. Would neither do or say anything to hurt him. His father's death had struck him hard and he had clung that much harder to Trip. Now he felt as if the Vulcan Sub-Commander was taking his friend away from him. It might be a ludicrous notion but Trip knew that it was real to the Captain.

"Jon?"

"Yeah?"

"Ya gonna be all right?"

A smile almost made it to his sad lips. "I'll live."

Trip looked into his friend's anguished face. Seeing all the emotional uncertainty he tried so hard to hide. "You know your trouble, Jon?"

The Captain gave him a solemn look. As serious as a heart attack. "What's that?"

The Commander's face broke out into a slow mischievous grin. "You need to get laid!"

He was so surprised he laughed. Soon they were both chuckling. As the laughter died away Trip's expression became serious.

"You gotta learn to lighten up, Jon."

He nodded. Knew Trip was right. "I just didn't expect it to be so hard."

Trip clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder then got to his feet. "You're not alone here, Jon, and even if you were I'd be right alongside you. I know you like T'Pol and it must seem kinda funny to see me with her but I want ya to get used to it in your mind because I've never been happier than when I'm with her. It's like I've been waitin' to meet her all my life."

"Thanks."

"What for?"

"Putting up with me and all my insecurities. I never would have taken this command if I couldn't have brought you along with me." He paused trying to deflect the serious tone with humour. He had not planned on making that confession. Oddly enough he felt better for it. "After all, who wants a neurotic Captain?"

"You're not neurotic."

"No?"

"No. You're just trying to live up to somethin' that doesn't exist."

The Captain paled slightly. Trip watched his reaction closely, his voice softening to cushion the blow.

"Your dad would be mighty proud of you, Jon. Same as I am. Don't let self-doubts undermine everything you've accomplished."

"And what is that? What have I accomplished?"

"Are ya kiddin'? The first star ship Cap'n in the history of Earth? They don't just hand out positions like that to whoever wants 'em."

"I know but..."

"No buts, and it's gettin' late. Ya gonna be up for breakfast?"

He nodded at the switch in topic and smiled. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good, then I'll see ya then."

Captain Archer watched his friend go and felt a weight lift off him. Commander Tucker was a good man. The very best. And he was lucky enough to be able to call him friend.

* * * * *

Dr Phlox was still baffled but some inner instinct kept him from openly discussing why. Instead he did what he did best. He observed. Quietly and efficiently he managed to check each and every member of the Enterprise crew and found the same startling result. They were all of them in perfect health. Mentally as well as physically. He should have been grateful. Embraced a profound feeling of relief but that was something he reserved for a qualified success. This hardly rated as that but it was welcome to know the humans were going to be alright. Reassuring to discover that not only did Sub-Commander T'Pol survive what she had been forced to endure but actually seemed the stronger for it. And then there was Commander Tucker. He sucked his bottom lip and released the last crewman from his judicious care. His words of advice now flowing by rote though they were as sincere as the first time he had given them. He was just more than a little distracted.

He considered speaking to the Captain then dismissed it. He would not understand and with the readings he had been getting might even think it was the doctor who needed medication. He sighed. The doctor made notes on his PADD and considered his options. He did not yet have enough conclusive information to form a definitive hypothesis let alone explain why the Vulcans of all people had seen fit to manipulate the memories of the crew. Being a Denobulan he had a number of curious characteristics that he did not hold in common with other species. Self induced hibernation also carried a useful side effect. It enabled the active components of the brain stem to go into a kind of stasis. That left the less critical part of his brain active, keeping watch as it were. Allowing that which was expendable to face any risk. When the Vulcans had begun altering and erasing selective memories from the humans they were unable to do the same to him. Able only to touch the periphery and that incompletely. It had initially alarmed Dr Phlox when he regained consciousness and was able to indulge in a little medical introspection. Now that concern was heightened ten-fold. Something was going on. Something on a magnitude which dwarfed logic and sent reason into freefall. A curious endeavour for the stiff necked Vulcans to embrace.

It was while he was sterilising some instruments that the answer came to him. Cold. Hard and sudden. He gripped the table to steady himself. Hirogen. That was what was missing. All memories of the Hirogen, the multiple rapes of the Enterprise's female crewmembers. Sha'kith's attack on Sub-Commander T'Pol. He frowned and put the cleansed instruments in the drier with exaggerated care to hide the way his hands had begun to tremble. Why would the Vulcans want to pretend the encounter with the Hirogen had never happened? Was it to enable the women to recover from their traumatic experiences without lasting side effects? He doubted it. If so, why remove the memories from the male members as well? Why coax the Captain and crew to come to this isolated planet for the sole purpose of blanking out parts of their memories? What were they hiding and why did he get the distinct feeling he would not like the answer? He needed to see the Captain. Express his fears and reservations. First though he needed to gather the evidence to back up his suspicions. It was all well and good knowing the Vulcans had lied and indulged in mind manipulation but quite another to make such a bold and fantastic claim without any proof beyond his word.

And then. There was another baffling thing that disturbed him. Commander Tucker. Dr Phlox stared off into space, seeing nothing. Allowing himself to access memories buried deep. To remember. To reacquaint himself with the recent past. His thoughts so focused he did not hear the door swish open behind him. It was Sub-Commander T'Pol's cool voice that roused him like a bucket of cold water. He shook himself and straightened up, his head turning so he could see her. "I'm sorry, Sub-Commander, I was thinking."

An elegant eyebrow arched.

He pursed his lips tightly when she said nothing. "How may I help you?"

* * * * *

It was the oddest thing. After talking to the Captain, Trip had the overpowering urge to get down to Engineering. He could feel his pulse gradually quickening, his steps becoming brisk though he had no idea why. He nodded to Lieutenant Hess, gave a brief word of greeting to Danny Petrie and paused on the grating. The smells and sounds seemed to seep like honey through his pores. A calm descending over him that filled his senses with a deep abiding peace. He smiled and felt instantly at home. As if this was the only place he could ever really belong. He shook his head slightly as if wondering where the hell the thought had come from. Bemused. For a moment he just cast an eye around his domain. His little piece of Heaven. He would just stop for a few minutes. Make sure all was well then head back to his quarters where he was due to meet with T'Pol. The Captain had told him to cool things down for a while with the Sub-Commander. Not to give their Vulcan friends any cause for complaint. His smile widened slightly. He had said nothing about what happened in the privacy of their own quarters.

* * * * *

It was always dark in space. An eternal night in a universe that never slept. While Enterprise ploughed a lonely furrow through the field of stars something wholly other mimicked a lover's embrace. Not touching but close enough to almost cocoon the star ship in her graceful flight. Anything above them would have looked down and seen nothing, just an emptiness of stars where the Enterprise was unknowingly masked. Only someone flying beneath or directly beside the ship would have seen her.

* * * * *

He could not have said what it was that was making him uneasy. Such a subtle thing. A gradual descent into darkness that made absolutely no sense. A growing feeling that he was needed here. In this place at this time. His inner clock was ticking off the time until he could be with T'Pol but this feeling over rode all other commitments. He knew he would not be going back to his quarters soon. Instead he walked all over Engineering, ostensibly just making sure everything was alright. Not wanting to alarm his people when all he had was the very vaguest of gut feelings. Taking the time to exchange a few words with his people but his mind was elsewhere. Lieutenant Hess watched him and was aware that he seemed keyed up. Not in that obvious way that denoted nerves or fear but in a subtle understatement that alerted her to his changing mood. She had known the Commander only the duration of their time aboard Enterprise but had quickly learned that he was not only a skilled and gift Chief Engineer, he was also a charismatic and dedicated officer. She liked him. Would do anything for him as all his crew would. But more than that she genuinely respected him and respect was a commodity rarer than finding gold dust in her veins. So when something put her Chief on edge, it put her on high alert.

Trip finally stood on the grill and stared at the read outs. He seemed to be deep in thought, not really seeing what he was looking at. Almost in a light trance. Danny Petrie stood not three feet beside him and was about to speak but caught a slight shake of the head from Lieutnant Hess who was standing below them looking up. A light tension permeated Engineering. People took their cue from the Commander and went about their duties in a quiet hush so as not to disturb him. As the Commander gazed unseeing at the screen subtle image changes superimposed their reality over his senses. He could hear an echoing alarm sounding, the kind of quality you hear in a dream that tells you it is not happening *right now*. The screen changed, the warp core overheating to an alarming level. Ghostly figures of crew moving frantically to prevent a core breach. The heat seen in waves that rippled through the air but were not felt. No scorching vibrant heat burning lungs and searing flesh. He felt as if he were being smothered. The life being choked out of the crew. His hands passing through consoles. His heart struggling to keep pumping long enough for his brain to make the crucial connections that would save the ship. He felt light headed but centered in a way which seemed to be at odds with his senses. He had no idea what was going on but a deep seated trust held him in place. His racing heartbeat began to slow. Blood sugar levels evened out. Adrenal glands calmed. A slow sluggish flow of blood to the brain began to increase as if a small blood clot had moved across the brain and was now freed. Clarity of vision returned. The normal sights and sounds segued back into place in a seamless ripple that flattened out into normality.

Trip took a deep steadying breath. Took time to concentrate on the feel of the grill beneath his feet. Taste the air and inhale it deep into aching lungs. He felt the urge to shake his head to loosen the cobwebs and other debris that seemed to be collecting in it but was aware he was beginning to scare his crew. He looked around at them and sensed Lieutenant Hess coming to full alert. For a moment his eyes rested on hers and he gave her a little nod. A recognition that what she was sensing was something that they would address together. "Okay people, I know it's late but I want a complete systems check. Every nut, bolt, circuit and conduit. Every pressure gauge and linkage. Every system critical or otherwise. Consider it the most important thing in your life for the next four hours."

Danny Petrie looked surprised. "What are we looking for, sir?"

"Anything that shouldn't be there. Anything that is performing *differently*."

Petrie frowned. "Differently, sir?"

The Commander smiled slowly, trying to make it seem like no more than an exercise sprung on them out of nowhere. A test of their Engineering skills. "Trust me, crewman, you'll know it when ya see it."

He nodded. "Yes, sir."

Within seconds Engineering was a hive of activity. Trip checked the slave units himself then painstakingly began to go over every single inch of his precious engine with a fine toothcomb.

* * * * *

The Denobulan was nervous. "Sub-Commander? Are you feeling all right?"

Still she said nothing. There was a blankness in her gaze that startled and alarmed him. He did not like this. His concern for her well being began to take over.

"I think perhaps I should just check you over."

Something flickered in her eyes and she focused on him. Her tone was flat and emotionless. Only another Vulcan would have been able to detect that she was ill at ease. "That will not be necessary, doctor."

Relief swept over the doctor but he was still concerned. "How may I help you?"

She stared at him without blinking. A full minute passed before she spoke again. "Something is wrong."

Dr Phlox had just opened his mouth to ask her to be more specific when Sub-Commander T'Pol collapsed. Quickly he dropped to his knees and turned her on to her back, feeling anxiously for her pulse. His other hand reaching for his scanner. Before he could use it a surge of panic ripped through him. He could not find any pulse and the Sub-Commander was no longer breathing.

***********

Continue to Part 15

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Three people have made comments

OMG!!! You are evil truly and completely evil you do this with every part! Cliffhanger cliffhanger cliffhanger! AAHHHHHH!!!

Really enjoying this story. The scene between
Trip and Jon was really well done. Heck the whole
thing reads great.

Hurry with more and soon!

Nooooo! I hate cliffhangers Great story. Looking forward to the next instalment.

I really like how you brought out the concerns Archer would have about a Trip and T'Pol friendship in terms of his own relationship to Trip. Trip is probably the only family Archer has, and as much as he might hate himself for feeling so, Archer knows that Trip will be best friends with his mate and that means Archer has a secondary role.

You really have a firm grasp on this most complex epic your are writing! I am stunned. I write a few paragraphs and am happy I didn't manage to mess those up! What a tale you are telling!

May I just add my own bias - I love the Vulcans and all their complexity and don't want them to be evil or the enemy. They may be different from humans, but I want that difference to be explored, not for one to be bad and the other good. I'm not sure where you are going with your tale, but I thought I would voice that concern.

Thanks for your stories!